I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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