A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
