Fine. I'll sleep in my office
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
