I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
My liver is preforming stress tests.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
