I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize