I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
