After last night, I could never be a politician.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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