dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You're like the curious george of whores
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
