you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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