I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
