The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.