last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?