Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
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God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
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He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I think people are normalizing furries
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.