Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
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Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
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She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in