when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad