I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
