Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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