The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.