Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
