Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
