I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
