The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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