I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
