The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
