Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize