Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
