I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Randomize
