I swear she didn't look like that last week.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
