Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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