cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
