I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
3 2 1 whiskey
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
