is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
