ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
