I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
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couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
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I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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