So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
