I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize