I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize