Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
