I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
