So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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