I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
