so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
