they need to just BURY HIM!
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
