I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
