I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
