well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
