Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize