Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Is it because I queefed?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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