Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
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I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
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falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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