so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
