no. you can't hotbox the world.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
