Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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