Kiss
Puke
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
