Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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