I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
