Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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