Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
foreskin is a definite game changer
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
